Keep Yourself Busy In The Things That Matter

 Keep Yourself Busy 

There are things that are sacred to you. Your work, your family, your physical health exercise, your meals and your leisure time. In those things, keep them sacred. You will not be in control of how people treat you in those spaces. You do have control over the way you respond.

Do not over react when someone shows consistent level of unacceptable behaviour towards you. Your time with them is for a season. Focus n your vision in life, which will be with you forever. They have made that choice. You should choose to keep busy with the work before you and make sure you have a daily period for unwinding.

This photo was taken in 2008 at a wedding.

Focus on your goals and not on other people's flaws. Since you have your own flaws, work on elevating yourself to become an enormity, invaluable, an asset and not a liability. It is not your job to save everyone from their own deliberate and unfortunate choices. 

Maintain your boundaries and do not interchange kindness for being gullible. Do not become so gullible that you believe everything that someone tells you. Be kind but be firm as well, otherwise people will mistake your kindness for weakness.

Keep busy. Keep on the target and when you feel weak and delusioned, when the target seems to be drifting away and bobbing into an impossible distance, then rest. Do not let anyone interfere with that rest. Do not become consumed with other people. Focus on yourself. Take a rest.

I learned that some of my lessons are meant for me alone. I learned that not every personal test in my life needs to be shared. It will not help people. If I truly want to be valuable, then I must allow people to learn on their own just like I learned on my own as well.

We can unmake some choice. We can drag ourselves out of any dark pit. If I have done it, then let me allow others to find the light as well.

Keep Busy. There are people who depend on you. If you're busy wearing yourself away with what is temporary, then you let yourself and others down.

You will grow stronger if you build yourself and the purpose into which you were born.

Beverley N Nsengiyunva

Review of Hamlet, by William Shakespeare, Reviewed by Beverley

 'My Words fly up. My thoughts remain below. Words without thought. Never to heaven will go.'

King Claudius, in Hamlet.

Speak from your heart. Lead from your heart.

There is a copious amount of knowledge from Shakespeare's play, Hamlet, a tragedy written by William Shakespeare sometime between 1599 and 1601.

The tragedy befell the characters in this play, reflections of our own lives, all because of envy, rage and revenge. Had King Claudius not been envious of King Hamlet in his position, he would never have plotted to kill his very own brother.

If King Claudius had not been filled with such untamable lust towards Queen Gertrude, his sister-in-law, neither he nor the Queen would have wiled their time in plotting to kill King Hamlet.

Envy and revenge are such forceful elements. They appear and disappear in our lives like the sun, wind, moon and stars. They're almost seasonal and are triggered when we are at our most vulnerable, weakest and desperate of places.

We have lived through it, we have experienced it and we have partaken of it.

This is a real scenario.

A dynamic, enterprising and innovating individual joins an organisation and the moment this person does so, a new light appears. The person proposes positive change and the entire establishment witnesses a shift after years of monotony and pointless meetings.

Within the organisation though, are those who have been part of it for long and they have enjoyed the status quo because it has given them an unlimited sense of bravado, only because the members were too afraid or too exhausted to propose anything new. 

It is therefore unsurprising that when this new individual steps in, the members' hearts are filled with gladness and lightness. A leader with a people mindset, has come to create history. They are delighted. Their energy is restored. They are enamoured by the courage and genuine empathy and leadership of this new individual.

The former leaders who have enjoyed the status quo, filled with envy and towering rage, are contemptuous at the thought that their false security and the intimidation that they had ruled with is coming to an end. They have been treating the organisation as if it is their own little family hub. They then plot together and start a series of acts of revenge, poisoning the minds of everyone against this new charismatic individual. 

In the tragedy Hamlet, it is the seed of envy that caused unspeakable deaths, either by poison or by the sword. The tragedies rippled one after the other, just like what happens when a a glass breaks. The pieces scatter and become a potential danger to those around.

The moment you start acting upon your envy, you become a danger to those around.

We have all been envious. Most of us are able to check it. Others are too contemptuous to even acknowledge it.

This charming individual continues in their pursuit of excellence, mostly unaware of the repugnant behaviour of others, or is too busy to consider it. This person's mission is to revolutionise. Their mission is to strategise. Their mission is to lead with positive influence. These people are unflappable, unstoppable. It is better for everyone to just either sit by and watch or join their crusade of diligence and virtue.

And of course, read Hamlet.

Bless!

Beverley N Nsengiyunva

Stop Ghosting Yourself

Stop Ghosting Yourself

The Oxford Languages online dictionary refers to ghosting as,

the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation

withdrawing from all communication.

We do this to others and we have received the same treatment from them, too.

What we don’t realize is that more often than not, we tend to ghost ourselves.

Every single time you prioritize somebody else’s time over your own, you are not being self-sacrificial,

you are actually ghosting yourself. If you do not give yourself time to nurture your own goals and your

own priorities,

then when you offer yourself up to another person’s task, you will deliver that task with such low

productivity and inwardly,

you will remain bitter. It is a bitterness that manifests over time, all because you were unable to say No,

and check your

priorities.

The false religious doctrine that underscores the importance of being self-sacrificial is actually a selfish

way of

manipulating followers into enslavement, by controlling their time and admonishing them when they

show the slightest

sign of exhaustion. 

This actually belittles the sacrifice that God made when He sent His son down for us. If the greatest

sacrifice was already

made, then why do voluntary organisations, family members, colleagues and friends, still expect us to

lay ourselves down

in the same way?

The next time you offer yourself up to an activity, make sure that you are not abandoning yourself. If

you decide to drop

a friend off at the airport instead of attending your child’s sports day, you have ghosted yourself. 

If you decide to use your meditation time to respond to WhatsApp messages of people who constantly

berate you,

you have ghosted yourself.

When you respond to an unofficial call during a work meeting, you are ghosting yourself.

If you ponder over other people who have ghosted you and start to pine after them, you are ghosting

yourself.

If someone has ghosted you, then leave them to disappear into their haunted house. Why do you leave

your own

abundance and start knocking on the door of a haunted house?

It is crucial to understand that it is not always those who have dropped communication, who are ghosting

you? If you

receive a phone call with dread, and just seeing the caller ID just sends you into immobilization, then

most likely that

person is insufferable and their behaviour makes your skin crawl. If this constantly happens, that person

may already be

in their haunted house. They have built it with their false bravado, incompetence and lack of genuine

friendship. They reside

in it and invite others over with their charm. That charm is like a cobweb. It glistens for a while but soon

it will be destroyed

once someone decides to clean up.

Clean up your life. There are cobwebs everywhere. There are people who extend a hand of assistance,

when

all they want

is to lure you into their web of deceit. Charming on the outside. Their haunted house seems full and

merry. Those people

are actually drunk on toxins.

Flee!

Do not abandon yourself for a facade.

Are you benevolent, self-sacrificial and warm, or are you actually ghosting yourself to please others?

Bless!

Beverley N Nsengiyunva

Kwibuka 30

I was a secondary student in 1994 and while at school, I heard news of the Rwanda genocide.

Unable to grasp the calamitous effect, we spoke about it and I remember writing a story, too. I stood in front of the class and asked if them if they knew that there was a genocide in Rwanda and how we should all empathise. 

The protagonist in my story was a six-year-old girl who sat on an upturned bucket. She wore pigtails and her skipping rope lay beside her. Minding her own business, she is shot and as she keels over, her blood forms a red river in her memory. 

How could I forget that story! It was the only way I could make sense of the genocide.

Ten years later in 2004, I visited Kigali, Rwanda's capital and also the town of Butare, about three hours southwest from the capital. Being my first visit to Rwanda, I stepped off the bus and was almost knocked over by the appealing and handsome men that populated the city. 

How could one city be filled with numerous men of such physical agreeableness! I needed to find an internet cafe at once and email my friends to let them know that not only had I arrived safely in Rwanda but that this country would solve our singleness anxiety.

Staying at a friend's house, everyone made so much effort to be as courteous and engaging as possible. I took walks across the city, made friends with the waiters at Hotel Continental, which is now Serena and marvelled at the tall guard at the entrance, who was easily seven feet tall.

I recall some of the names of the staff; Celeste, Jean-Pierre and Jean-Claude. Walking in the city was a treat. Even though entering the taxis was a bit strange at first, given that passengers entered from the right side and not the left, people were generally calm. It was impossible not to sit with someone for ten minutes and not ask about the genocide.

Upon visiting the Kigali Memorial Centre, which opened that year, the tenth anniversary of the genocide, I could hardly keep it together. The tragedy was recent. The trauma was still palpable. The air was still thickened with unanswered questions and here I stood, reading about first hand encounters of babies being ripped from their mothers' arms and families being torn apart.

There were open graves, commemorating the 100 days that shifted the country in ways nobody could ever comprehend.

There are many countries around the world that have experienced deep-felt tragedy, including Uganda. And yet, every year, I am always cognizant of the Rwanda genocide. 

I have watched films, documentaries and read biographical accounts of it.

On visiting Butare, the National University loomed ahead and I walked into the breathtaking path, from the university gate. There were stately pine trees and benches for students to sit; almost like wonderland. Kind students gave me a tour. 

It was at towards the end of my tour of Butare that somebody asked me if I had noticed the makeshift graveyards. Yes, I had.

And yes, it was impossible to remove myself from this reality, as I tried my best to maintain my tourist stance.

On my numerous visits to Rwanda, I marvel at the growth of Kigali city. Its immaculate and cosmopolitan appeal and the rapid advancements. In 2022, the CHOGM village was one of my best attractions, with bicycles for hire for a city tour or exercise, families taking jogs on Sunday and the spotless roads and pavements.

When I visit a place that sits well with me, in my heart of hearts I know that home is where the heart finds contentment. It's not a place defined by genealogy or surnames, by ancestral grounds or birthplace. It is where the heart finds contentment.

I always look forward to travelling, to find more places where my heart is content.

May we think of the thousands of people who continue to face genocide everyday and pray that the world will become a place where everyone can find a place where their hearts are at rest.

Bless!

Beverley Nambozo Nsengiyunva

Hire Your Own Photographer When you Speak

 It is wise to hire your own photographer, for an event.

When you are invited to speak, emcee, moderate a session or train, any activity that requires you to engage an audience, it is safer and wiser for you to hire your own photographer.

I cannot enumerate how many times I have spoken or trained at huge events and while the organisers promised to share photos, I only receive a measly five photographers, half of which are usually not representative of my work or service.

There are uncountable instances where you will be told that the event organisers have already hired photographers who will certainly share their photos. And indeed, they most likely will. You will be hard pressed to find any that will share more than five photos though, of you and amongst those five, at least three do not portray you in your best element as a speaker.

Use part of the money that they pay you to hire your own photographer and within those photos, they should be able to capture you actually engaging the audience.

It is important to document and archive your public speaking journey. Hire your own photographer.

Great week!

Rich Diction

#Publicspeaking

Richdiction@gmail.com

20s, 30s and 40s

 The next time you seek advice on something pertinent to your life, try seeking it from someone in their twenties, thirties and forties and compare the information.

In my thirties

In my forties

It's quite incredible how a decade of experience shapes our knowledge in vastly different ways. It is fascinating to note how our world views shift over a decade in time.

The preoccupations of most people in their twenties differs in colossal amounts, from someone in their forties.

Even within a week, I find myself growing in thought process and reconsidering a few past ideas and values. How much then, can a decade change us?

Just try it. Seek the same advice from these different categories and you'll be amazed at how time and experience, really does create a mindshift.

Bless!

Beverley

Happy World Poetry Day

 I believe, from studying poetry, engaging poets from all over Africa and studying poetry for my second degree, that poetry is not about the words that you read but about how you feel when you read those words.

This below is one of my favourite poems in the entire world.


I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one’s name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog!

By Emily Dickinson.

Happy World Poetry Day.