18 years of marriage and I do not have any marriage tips.

 Today is our 18th wedding anniversary and I still don't have any tips on marriage. 

It was on a sunny morning turned rainy afternoon on 07/07/07. Early that Saturday, I wore tight jeans and a top. By afternoon at Kampala Pentecostal Church, I was in a sparkling strapless wedding gown with a ring on my finger and an additional name. A beautiful name, I may add.

People keep asking me how we have made it. We have not made anything.

People keep asking me how I have remained myself, with my eccentric style, my zeal to remain true to what is valuable to me and my creative and energetic spirit. 

If marriage takes you away from your values, then the problem may not be the marriage but maybe it was that you traded yourself without knowing. It comes in bits. You were told to leave everything behind for this union and when you find yourself with bouts of depression, you cannot place your finger on it.

It has been 18 years and if feels like 18 days many times, because I still have plans for myself and both of us have many plans together. We pray a lot, as well. 

I see many people who place marriage and weddings on a pedestal and observed how it makes them lose their path. They stop doing what they enjoy. They stop nurturing their skills and talents and their conversations sound like panic attacks. 

The great news, is that if that is you, you can always return.

Marriage was always meant to be part of my journey; not the beginning or the end, but part of it. Part of my already powerful and creative life's journey. And I am glad about that. Both of us are able to grow as we ought. Both of us are able to raise the children, while still growing into our purpose. 

I made adjustments, yes, but I never stopped being a poet, a speaker, or a person who loves a global challenge. 

Protect your heart so that when people disappoint you, it may hurt but you will get back together, whole.

Protect your values so that when people do not align with them and reject you, you will not break into a thousand tiny pieces.

You can turn anything into a gold mine, into everlasting joy. Yes, of course you can.

Let God fill that space and when you do find someone to spend the rest of your life with, or when you find someone to partner with in business or when you find a friend or colleague at work to connect with, you will give each other space. You will respect each other's boundaries. That is how love will blossom. 

Allow the love to blossom. Do not stifle it or choke it by forcing it in one direction. Let it flourish. Keep on being whom you were always mean to be and when that looks like it's impossible, remember that it's not. Someone is always there to help.

You will both be free. 

Freedom is a verb.

Do I have any marriage tips? No, not even after 18 years. 

Happy Anniversary! And to many more.

Bless!

Bev