It was during my senior one when there was a huge dance competition to which I entered. There was a dance which I had been rehearsing and that no matter the song they played, I would dance my dance. And that is how I won. No matter wat tune they played, I knew my dance.
Next week, I will be dancing in Milan, addressing
young professionals on the need to integrate art into the corporate space.
Next month, I shall receive an invitation from the UN
Secretary General to deliver a keynote address on education and epistemics. Do
you know why? It’s because when you know your dance, you will become recognized
all over the world.
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Receiving an appreciation certificate for my keynote address. Photo by Edgar Batte.
Live Science explains that babies learn to dance, even
before they learn to speak. They move in rhythm to the music that is around
them. When they grow older, they begin to understand what it means to develop
their own tune and dance and that is what they call purpose.
Today I stand here content. My cup is brimming. My
heart is scintillating with the symphony of a supernova. And that is because I
have completed my race here in Toastmasters. From January 2016 when I sat next
to Gilbert Rutebemberwa from Kampala Toastmasters Club and paid my membership
fee, I determined to experience Toastmasters as purposefully as I possibly
could.
That conviction carried the weight of a winner and the
burden of brilliance. That conviction led me to stages where I sat and
discussed with brilliant minds, while at the same time I was met with treachery
and arduous hours pondering over my decision.
One of those decisions was starting Bukoto
Toastmasters Club. So much of my personal life was inflicted in this process, and
there were days and weeks where I questioned my quest for success.
Serving as the first Ugandan on the District Cabinet
as the Public Relations Manager and founding the Sauti ya Toastmasters
Newsletter, brought endless joy and with it, ceaseless anguish.
After seven years of navigating this journey, I know
that those who lives their lives with purpose, will walk a path that will
become unbearable but with confidence, with timeless drive, they shall say with
contentment, that this particular journey is over and it’s time for another
space.
This is my journey and not yours. This dance is mine
and not yours. Some members have been Toastmasters for five years and they are
still unsure why they are here. Convincing themselves that the busier they are,
the closer their purpose will avail. Busyness does not necessarily equal
productivity.
To identify why you are here and who you are, it necessitates lessening your activities and not increasing them. Look at the five main competencies from Toastmasters. Public Speaking. Do you still speak while unsure, or are you filled with certitude. Excellent communication influences excellent leadership. Possibly, the reason you are still stuck after five years is because you have not yet mastered this skill. Or, after delivering one great speech you stopped practicing.
With Baldwin Okello, Bukoto Toastmasters, runner up in the Evaluation contest
Confidence, another competency, comes from practice.
The more you practice, the greater your confidence. Compare the day you learned
to swim, to now.
Interpersonal communication. I have learned that when
I move my faith, my need for validation disappears. Are you dancing everyone
else’s dance, because you desire their validation? Move my faith. Learn your
own dance. And remember, the people whose validation you seek, do not care
about you at all.
The true leaders, honest in their journey, will never
make you feel small, they will lift you and guide you. If anyone makes you feel
like you do not deserve them, actually does not deserve you. Walk away.
Strategic leadership. With Toastmasters, I learned how to lead with people who
were so driven by their inflated egos that strategically, I decided to give
them a platform where they would star in their own film, until they realized
that the only audience was themselves and until they learned the lesson themselves
that Toastmasters was not a stage with one spotlight, but it was a ray of
different lights made up of individuals, clubs, divisions and the district.
My first mentor by choice, because the one assigned to me left Toastmasters after a while. My first mentor by choice in Toastmasters, was Philippa Nanyondo Byamah, who now heads Blue Hearts DFCU Toastmasters. She's firm, kind and encouraged me to reach my best, always guiding on the basics of Toastmasters until I firmed my grip.
Each time I receive an award from the Distinuished Toastmaster award and others for my recognition, Philippa is amongst the first to cheer me on. I have had mentors whom, upon realizing my excellence, are threatened by my verve, brilliance and ability and in vain and futile effort, thwart opportunities. These type of mentors are insecure and I have learnt to veer from their energy.
I have also learned to stop saving people. Some people need to
learn their lessons on their own. If you keep on saving people like a glorified
baby-sitter, then your self esteem needs checking.
Maybe that’s why you’re stuck. You’re still holding
the hand of someone who has relentlessly refused to budge. The best thing for
you is to let them go. They will learn better when you let them go.
Each of us is more useful by doing three great things,
than fifteen small things. You are dancing so many dances, instead of
developing your own, that nobody even knows what you really stand for. You may
justify it by declaring the Toastmasters promise but you also made a promise to
yourself, a vow, to be the best. You cannot be the best, if you’re still
wallowing with the rest.
Your talents, energy and God-given abilities, are
resources for the main plan for your life. By saying yes to every single task,
you are abandoning who you are.
I leave behind a team of notable leaders who shall
manage the District newsletter, even more successfully that I ever did. To run
the race, is to run forward.
Erik Erikson was an American German ego psychologist who developed one of the most popular and influential theories of development. While his theory was impacted by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud's work. Erikson's theory centered on psychosocial development rather than psychosexual development.
Each stage of
our lives, paves the way for periods of development. In each
stage, Erikson believed people experience a conflict that serves as a
turning point in development.
In Erikson's view, these
conflicts are centered on either developing a psychological quality or failing
to develop that quality. During these times, the potential for personal growth
is high but so is the potential for failure. At each stage of your Toastmasters journey, are
you developing or retrogressing? Maybe that’ s why you’re stuck and others are
growing. Become unstuck. Learn your
dance.
If people successfully deal with the conflict, they emerge from the
stage with psychological strengths that will serve them well for the rest of
their lives.
Erikson also believed that a sense of competence motivates behaviours and
actions. Each stage in Erikson's theory is concerned with becoming competent in
an area of life.
Let us all at the stage of life we are in. I will represent this stage
of Toastmasters. Have you mastered yourself enough and your journey here,
enough to confidently say, “I have run the race?”
Next week, I will be dancing in Milan, addressing
young professionals on the need to integrate art into the corporate space.
Next month, I shall receive an invitation from the UN
Secretary General to deliver a keynote address on education and epistemics. Do
you know why? It’s because I am dancing my dance and I thank Toastmasters for
showing me the various tunes to my life, to make all that I desire, possible.
Thanks to our Division F Director, Jesse Ainebyoona, Agnes Tushabe the Conference Convenor, Ann Marie Nakimera the head of finance and admin, Joy Talemwa who ran the publicity, to the entire Division F Council, sponsors and all participants. Huge appreciation!
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