Monday, 13 February 2023

The day after the wedding, is more important than the wedding day.

 The day after the wedding, is more important than the wedding day.

The day after you give birth, is more important than the day you give birth.

The day after the accolade, the day after you arrive in the new country, the day after.

Think of the day after; because that’s the most important day.

                                                    
                                                           Taken on 07/07/07 at Dolicoes Studios

We have all watched interviews, heard our friends say it and often gushed it ourselves, that our wedding day, or the day we got the job, or the day we travelled, gave birth, were the most important days of our lives.

I halt y’all, right there, skid marks and all. A screeching halt, burnt rubber, with the awful smell rising.

The most important day, is the day after.

When you’re a virgin on your wedding night and were promised angels and golden awards for your virginity, you’ll most likely still be waiting, because the day after is when your thighs are bruised, your head aches and you’re dazed, from a long night of partying and listening to speeches, camera lights, preceded by a week of sleepless nights.

It’s the day you wake up from all of this and you are still determined that it was worth it and you can actually see what you both look like without make-up, bow ties and hair gel, without maids in waiting and carriages at your beck and call. That is the most important day. When the butterflies have gone to roost and your body and mind are healing from the flurry of it all, and you are still agreeable, then congratulations.

It's the day after the media interviews, holding your countless trophies, hugging a ceaseless number of friends, acquaintances and skeptics, when all of that is gone and the trophies have no space in your sitting room and your phone stops ringing, the job offers have stopped flooding in and when the last camera has stopped clicking and the party is over.




It’s the day after all of that, when there is hardly any response to any of the emails from the large pile of business cards that were thrust into your hands, during your moments of fame.

If, after all of that, you can still thrust your chest out and hold a smile that’s warmer than Uganda, and acknowledge your goals, aspirations and visions to a brighter tomorrow, then you’ve found the most important day. It’s not the award but it’s what it represents. Because even without it, and even without the fame, it means you still know who you are and what you stand for.

I have had more media interviews than I can count, my name mentioned in more circles than I dare to say and my former students spent copious amounts of time googling my name in awe. Did any of that matter? Maybe.

What I do know is that even before google, and I had my yahoo account, I still knew what I stood for and what I represented.

Old email address: bevwithjc@yahoo.com

It’s always the day after, that matters. Build your foundation. Remain unshakeable, with or without the accolade. You are.

 

Bless!

Beverley N Nsengiyunva

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