Married on 07/07/07

 We were married on 07/07/07.

Today, we celebrate 17 years of marriage.

I’m grateful  that my husband comes from a respectable and grounded family where boys and girls were raised well, to respect one another. Everyone was taught the value of domestic chores and hard work in the profession of their choosing. 

I pray for all those planning on getting married that they find respectful partners whom they will thrive together with.

If you came home and saw my husband peeling potatoes, you may form an opinion of our 17-year marriage, on just one incident, and create a sensation around it.

It is impossible to observe a one minute incident and form a credible opinion of our 17-year life together. However, I understand that some people are drawn towards sensationalism.

Positive masculinity is not eroded from mixing soapy water in the sink to wash dishes. It is much stronger and durable than that. It is built on a foundation of unwavering constructive values.

People often come up to me and make comments like this:-

“Beverley, how have you remained true to yourself in your marriage?”

My response is this: 

Marriage was always going to be part of my life’s journey but it was never going to be my entire identity. Before I was married, I had an identity. I had goals and dreams, and marriage happened to be part of that journey. That is why I still write and perform poetry, I train in public speaking, I travel and I read a lot.

My husband too, had his own identity before we got married. Marriage is just part of his journey.

During this journey, we have been blessed with children, navigating careers and growing older together. There is no marriage manual that fits perfectly, except if you are a person of faith and understand that God desires that as individuals, we should worship Him. 

Many people, unfortunately, idolise the institution of marriage, over God. They idolise and worship their spouses over God, and their identity is confused. 

Before marriage, you were a complete being. Remember that. Please, if you are planning to get married, find a coach who is able to assist you in understanding purpose and identity.

Marriage is a journey that poses interesting challenges, character building opportunities and back breaking moments. Once you have built your credible identity and found your source of faith and knowledge, it is easier to manage any situation, no matter the outcome.

I am creative. I’m a poet and speaker, who values amongst others; structure, time conscientiousness, professional email communication, respecting boundaries and the power of words to transform landscapes.

To more wonderful decades together with my husband and I. I send happiness and blessings to those who are considering marriage, and to those who are already in it.

Bless!

Beverley  N N