The Diamond Sparkles in the Darkness

The diamond sparkles in the darkness.

In various ways, we have experienced a darkness in our lives, which consumes us like a ravenous buffalo. It shrouds over our thoughts and waking moment.

When we sit down to a task, the darkness hovers over, taunting us like a witch on its broomstick, taunting us while holding the key to our dreams.  

And like everyone reading this post, darkness loomed over me like an irrepressible storm. It came through the numerous failed attempts at launching various projects. The failure was neither due to lack of skill nor lack of willingness and availability. Without reasonable explanation, certain projects failed to launch.

2024 is here and I decided to wait. Not to lounge around in laziness but to wait in expectation. The seeds had been sown. 

Chinese philosophy Wu-Wei encourages us to remain resolute in our purpose by not fretting and allowing ourselves to live in our flow. In other words, instead of stressing over doing so much, just go with the flow, which is your purpose. When you wait and remain unfettered, the flow happens.

2024 is that flow.

And the diamond has begun to sparkle.

May your diamonds sparkle this year.

Bless!

Beverley Nambozo Nsengiyunva

Photo by Spring Media, Ntinda Uganda

I Like Rich People

 I like to spend time with rich people; those who have earned their income honestly. They are usually generous and good listeners. Some have 9am to 5pm jobs, while others have businesses.

By the way, you need to stop listening to people who tell you to quit your job. Do so when you have a plan, or at least when you deeply feel that it is time to do leave. 

The ones I enjoy time with most are those who do not criticize other people’s woes.

For example, scoffing at others who  have faced financial struggles. The faux rich whom I detest are those type, who speak like this.

‘Can you imagine, so and so came to me for a loan. Imagine that!'

These people are defined by their riches and therefore are rather fickle and insecure.

Rich people on the whole, are important in our lives. They make our world a better place because many are able to support their families, communities and they also employ others. They are also able to live a life that is admirable.

Furthermore, I enjoy the company of wealthy people. I like the way wealthy people are usually relaxed.

Wealthy people make the world a better place, especially those who have worked honestly and are ready to extend their favour to others.

Yesterday, 20 February, I received a copy of ‘The Billionaire’s Disease,’ a novel written by Godfrey Kalimugogo, published in 2014. It was his fifteenth novel before his death. Mr. Kalimugogo was also a father to my friend, Pearl.

In this book, Anthony Kagoro has been listed as Uganda’s latest billionaire, a status which drives him into a complex and bizarre state of  paranoia and irreversible mental torture. 

His billionaire status leads him to become trapped in his extreme state of megalanomania, that he imagines himself a target for assassins, as a result purchasing armoured vehicles and hiring expensive security guards for himself and his wife and son. 

Such is his extremity that his wife and son escape from Anthony’s state of delusion, where they have been imprisoned by his absurdities.

The end of the novel is quite revealing of how the inability to control oneself, leads to self-destruction.

The fictional character of Anthony Kagoro reminds me of people who are unable to ride on a safe boda (motor bike used as a taxi), or enter a matatu (passenger taxi for 14 people) , because they are afraid that their self-image will crumble.

There was a time when I was such a professional boda rider that I would even apply lipstick while riding. Not anymore. I matured. (smile). I do know that when I drive a Bentley or disembark from a boda boda, my confidence and honour remain unchanged. 

I will always recommend that for people to receive the beauty of a diverse living, that they relocate to another country or city, even for a month, or start a side venture.

Copies of this book should become available in online and physical bookstores in Kampala.

Beverley Nambozo Nsengiyunva

Kampala

Your Destiny Is In Greater Hands

We do not realize the impact we have as adults, on children?

I had a chat with a friend over the weekend and she spoke of how a certain head teacher was so diabolical and disgraceful towards her that over 30 years later, she still remembered the grief, and recently this friend had the opportunity to tell this former head teacher of the brutal treatment she had meted out to her.

Here I am with my former student of 24 years ago, whom I met over the weekend.

How many people are thrilled to meet their former employers?

Even when you leave an organisation with grace and dignity, some employers are so filled with unscrupulous behaviour that they will not give you a good reference, which makes us all the more grateful for the changing work landscape, giving us more control over our destiny, using creative tools and excellent networking.

Wherever you are as a supervisor, manager or CEO, maintain a firm and consistent behaviour, go by the guidelines and maintain your stance.

You must NEVER EVER make people feel they are not worthy, that they do not belong and that they are of no significance in a place. That breeds trauma and resentment. Always be respectful to people. Even when you may need to discipline them in any way, treat them with respect and dignity.

Kevin O'Leary, a leading entrepreneur with Shark Tank, says that while working in an ice cream parlour, his supervisor asked him to scrape chewing gum off the floor, to which Kevin refused. He was dismissed after this, which led him to determine never ever to work for anyone again.

Now one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world, he wanted to return to that supervisor and thank her for leading him to a far greater destiny.

Even with an unfair dismissal, or an unacceptable job reference from a former employer, your destiny is in greater hands.

Keep going, 2024 is your year!

Remembered After 24 years

 Yesterday, 17 February, after supporting a team of public speakers and leaders at a huge meeting under Toastmasters,  one young gentleman, a fine speaker, walked up to me.

"I remember you. You taught me at Makerere College School."

He remembered me after 24 years. A number of the students I taught would actually be in their 30s. Am I proud, or what? I am twirling in my teaching experience. My mentoring, coaching and training experiences and impact have extended beyond borders, an experience which a classroom designation would not have given me. 

And so, even though I have hardly spent time as an official classroom teacher, I have built a dream for myself and others.

For my Advanced level at high school, I studied at Makerere College School, one of the finest schools within Kampala City. I was appointed the Head girl too, from 1996.

After my first degree, during my student teacher practice, I opted to train from there. That was in the years 1999 and 2000.

And this gentleman remembered me. I am content, and curious to know  how my other former students are doing.

My first official teaching job was at Rainbow International School Kampala, in 2001. I taught for one year and that was my initial international teaching experience that thrust me into a diverse and exciting world.

For over 20 years, I've consulted,  having visited over 30 schools in Africa, training both students and teachers in public speaking, designing curricula,  supporting their poetry departments and debating clubs. 

In between,  I worked at a radio station for 2 years and an NGO for 2 years.

This has enabled me to remain constantly aware of my strengths and weaknesses, while building strong networks globally.

Here I am, February 2024. Ready for my year.

Beverley Nambozo Nsengiyunva

Kampala

Chase The Truth Until The Truth Chases You

 You will chase the truth, until the truth finally chases you

This is me in my twenties. Without children, without  rent to pay or a needy boyfriend to cater to, and yet my twenties were the time when I seemed to carry the greatest burden that I have ever carried in my life. Bullying.

In school, I was never bullied and if I was, for the life of me, I do not remember. I was good at reading, always elected or appointed as a class leader, dormitory leader or head of the school, great at sports and my stage presence was unmatched. Once you have those, school is enjoyable. And so, for the most part, I enjoyed school. In any part of the world, a child who has the above, will enjoy school far more than those who only have academic prowess. And with that, I was never bullied, or if I was, I was unable to recognize it.

In my twenties, life took a turn that stunned me to the core. Being surrounded by Christians my whole life, I was always in safe places, free from scandals and drunk in Jesus. There was only one horrific ordeal, which occurred almost daily. The bullying. I was bullied in my twenties, in a way that was equivalent to hazing.

No matter the faith, environment or organisation, as long as there are people who are deeply insecure, then there will always be bullying.

Why do people bully? They bully those who are different. I have always been different. Even amongst Christians, I just never fit in with those who spent laborious hours gossiping and tearing down precious time with their slander. It made me lonely at times but it created in me a high sense of independence and so I was left out of parties a lot, left out of sleep overs and the like, because I just didn’t fit in.

I was different. In some places where tribe mattered, I would be the only person from the Bamasaaba tribe and always the boldest in the crowd, standing up to people, sometimes Christians twice my age. They were stunned at this inexperienced child, who was not one of them, standing up to challenge them. 

I wasn’t challenging them. I was just pointing out the truth.

That is what made me a target for bullying, because unlike most people in their twenties, I was pursuant of the truth. Deep down, I knew that there would never be a substitute for God. And in everything I did, I sought this truth with every fibre of my being. It was all that mattered. My family did not understand why I was wasting my life away with the things of God and neither did many of my peers. I was bullied in subtle ways, treated like an outcast. I was called a rebel.

I chased the truth so hard like and like a chick, the shell finally cracked and the truth began to chase me.

Twenty years later, I bump into some of my former bullies and I tower over them. Because my foundation was built on what is solid and unbreakable, I see how they crumble. I walk towards them and they still move with uncertainty, with an air of frivolity, vanity and emptiness. 

They still rely on their dwindling fan bases and external validation for truth. Twenty years after. I tower over them and they ask me, how I remained unshakeable.

When I tell them that sometimes difficult situations come my way and I feel like Job, they do not believe me. 

Yet I do face hardships which are unbearable. It will never show because that is not what defines me. I know who I am. That is what defeats any bully, when they meet someone who is secure in who they are.

Deeply fragile, insecure and co-dependent people are scared to stand alone in the crowd because they will disappear. They are afraid to face who they are and work on themselves because they feel worthless.

These bullies are everywhere. As a teenager, I didn’t face bullying. I faced it a lot in my twenties and when I meet my former bullies today, they are miniature versions of their former selves. 

When anyone draws close to their so-called monster, the monster disappears. It is like your eyes are adjusting to the darkness. 

Keep pursuing the truth when you are young and you will enjoy life in colossal amounts when you are older. There is no substitute for the truth.

Bless!

Beverley Nambozo Nsengiyunva

WhatsApp Personalities...There's a Fine Line

 WhatsApp Personalities, There’s a fine line…

The SILENT PERSON ON community groups.

These are usually the all time favourites. If it is a community group like church or alumni, it is ok to be silent and pop up once in a while to say happy birthday or congratulations. These silent types are often most productive at their places of work, are highly committed to family and friends and their level of stoicism can disarm anybody.

They are also usually the first to make a financial contribution towards a cause.

The ENERGISER

This person will initiate new groups, innovate splendid ideas and invite people to join. The members will be enthusiastic at first, supporting the great idea. On realizing that the energetic innovator has the strength of Olympus, bit by bit, they will slink into the background and leave this person to do all the work alone. Because the energizer does not complain, they remain unaware that their insistence on doing nothing, will boomerang.

After the successful event or cause, The Energizer will express gratitude and leave the group. When the members see this person achieving other successes, they will wonder why they were not invited. 

The SPAMMERS

There are people who will never reach out to you to find out how you are. Their job is to spam you by promoting their business, products or religion. They will send you daily updates of their product launch, inventory, new markets and latest fad. If only they know that if they just called you once, to ask how you are, you would most likely be more willing to promote their business.

The CONSTANTLY DEPRESSED

There is an individual on WhatsApp who will become triggered into depression with every interaction or non-interaction. It is easy to tell from their silence that they are sulking. When you reach out to them, they will explain to you how they are deeply hurt from a misdeed that occurred to them 15 years ago.

Since there was no WhatsApp at the time, they were not able to spread their sadness like a contagion. They carry depression like a badge of honour. They need to realise that while people are sympathetic to someone who is sad, they are not sympathetic to someone who is constantly miserable and always darkens the mood. The sympathetic people will begin avoiding you.

The CACKLE CACKLE people

They target particular individuals, especially the cheerful and popular members, and heckle every single post. Whether the person is posting an achievement or an inspiration, the cackle cackle type will maintain their commitment to gaslighting. They are usually looking for a reaction, that’s all. 

THE PLAGIARISTS

There are people who look for certain WhatsApp statuses and quote other people without crediting them. This is because they are insecure and lack confidence in their own ability. You will find them designing posters and write their name under a quote that they have plagiarised. Worse still, motivational speakers, religious leaders and business owners will go further to quote philosophers like Jim Rohn, Marcus Aurelius and leaders like Marianne Williamson, without crediting the source. Why?

THE VOICES OF REASON

These are the ones who take time to analyse before they respond. They do not react to everything. They are deliberate and bide their time. Soon, their following will grow, because people are endeared towards the person of reason.

As we navigate WhatsApp, take time off to read, travel, meditate and enjoy your life off the phone.

….

Bless!

Beverley Nambozo Nsengiyunva