Stop Ghosting Yourself

Stop Ghosting Yourself

The Oxford Languages online dictionary refers to ghosting as,

the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation

withdrawing from all communication.

We do this to others and we have received the same treatment from them, too.

What we don’t realize is that more often than not, we tend to ghost ourselves.

Every single time you prioritize somebody else’s time over your own, you are not being self-sacrificial,

you are actually ghosting yourself. If you do not give yourself time to nurture your own goals and your

own priorities,

then when you offer yourself up to another person’s task, you will deliver that task with such low

productivity and inwardly,

you will remain bitter. It is a bitterness that manifests over time, all because you were unable to say No,

and check your

priorities.

The false religious doctrine that underscores the importance of being self-sacrificial is actually a selfish

way of

manipulating followers into enslavement, by controlling their time and admonishing them when they

show the slightest

sign of exhaustion. 

This actually belittles the sacrifice that God made when He sent His son down for us. If the greatest

sacrifice was already

made, then why do voluntary organisations, family members, colleagues and friends, still expect us to

lay ourselves down

in the same way?

The next time you offer yourself up to an activity, make sure that you are not abandoning yourself. If

you decide to drop

a friend off at the airport instead of attending your child’s sports day, you have ghosted yourself. 

If you decide to use your meditation time to respond to WhatsApp messages of people who constantly

berate you,

you have ghosted yourself.

When you respond to an unofficial call during a work meeting, you are ghosting yourself.

If you ponder over other people who have ghosted you and start to pine after them, you are ghosting

yourself.

If someone has ghosted you, then leave them to disappear into their haunted house. Why do you leave

your own

abundance and start knocking on the door of a haunted house?

It is crucial to understand that it is not always those who have dropped communication, who are ghosting

you? If you

receive a phone call with dread, and just seeing the caller ID just sends you into immobilization, then

most likely that

person is insufferable and their behaviour makes your skin crawl. If this constantly happens, that person

may already be

in their haunted house. They have built it with their false bravado, incompetence and lack of genuine

friendship. They reside

in it and invite others over with their charm. That charm is like a cobweb. It glistens for a while but soon

it will be destroyed

once someone decides to clean up.

Clean up your life. There are cobwebs everywhere. There are people who extend a hand of assistance,

when

all they want

is to lure you into their web of deceit. Charming on the outside. Their haunted house seems full and

merry. Those people

are actually drunk on toxins.

Flee!

Do not abandon yourself for a facade.

Are you benevolent, self-sacrificial and warm, or are you actually ghosting yourself to please others?

Bless!

Beverley N Nsengiyunva